cheap talk below

its just me., i think. it's just a bunch of comas in between the story. i handle it, i think.
The fellass laughting over there. my fellas. my, nothing. "play man, you playing or watching tv!? just play!" the taste's weird.the fellas around me. The table and the cards. The cigarrets burning one after another. My turn. X:"Its yours. play again."Ok. Argh boring night.I feel... li X:"C'mon!! play!"
...Another cigar. Another 5 mins worth it. Left hand in the cards. Right hand with the lightning. Eyes low, on the table. Me? well im around. Im all there, but my thoughts. they'r my painkiller. they'r my rope where i'll someday dance between....
I mean, do i really care? do they care? i don't care. i don't realize what i care!!!

im there, but im not there. never ever. I mean, my all day, my all week. everywhere.
i can't really taste the one im talking to, if i dnt even know how i taste or stink.
what do i look like? i cant really smell. i think. i cant really taste. i think. i really dont feel. i see.
im so happy. im, outrageous, big smile in here, tears here. yap. im sad. im awful. im stoped. i fell down and im still here. didnt get up. no, not needed. why would i? its so calm here. so peaceful. so happy lonely. feels good. im happy.
another cigar another life worth it.

ahah someones forgot to paint me. yes. im dead white. just in expression. ahah. but yes. im not fullfilled. its so not correct. im so not knowing how to manage this.
im so pissed. im so here. so much. and im not there, no im not i dont breed u dont see me. its warm and cold. its mad confusing. its dead real. im dead affraid. im happy.

its just me and him. He does the silly parts. the cheap talk. the friends. i just think about it. and then i think about it. and then i think about him. and who i am and eho are they and where am i and this and what does that mean and who are they and how am i and who am i and why do i and why would u and why me and why me and why


"anaylize and interpret

anaylize and interpret

anaylize and interpret

anaylize and interpret

anaylize and inrrpterpret

annnnzyle and itterpretnl

anal sex and interrrrrpetgyu"

"..." - excerpt from american history x


then i light another cigar. another cigar crisis worth it.